Midnight, Me and the Blues by Cracker

been sittin' here since day-light waitin for people to get up and start movin'...today is the beginning of the end of 20 years of life for me...today I'm going to my house and load everything up and send to a sale...then..I'm tearin my house down...then it's done....took us 16 years of hard work to get it...took six years of him bein' gone to level it...mixed emotions...people have all but destroyed my house..so I figure to take it down...another death of sorts..death of dreams that died on the vine....or maybe...if I look at it just right...this is not the end...but a new beginning....but I think it will still cut like a knife....I can't hardly go out there...so maybe it is better this way....I have a plan for the place and once I get through this week I can start that project...but in the mean time I'm moveing...this is for all my kids...I'm not stayin here...I hate it...I have my own plan..I'll handle it...I need to make a whole post to you guys...anyway...I got it under control...so back to my house...I have everything lined out for this ...I hate it...but I know there is no other way and this is for the best..Ronnie is dead...those dreams died on the side of a highway in the middle of the night six years ago...there is no magic that I can go home...top that hill and see him standin' there ever again..he's gone...now it's just me standin' alone...me thats got to root hog or die....I'm the one that got left behind...and as I watch them load what is left of our life...feels like it is bein ripped from me...I think about you now...I see you on the cedar bald hill..where we go get the mushrooms...I know you know how hard it has been since you been gone...I know you know...I've watched them tear and scatter our life.....so maybe this is best...I still have our hill...still enough room for a tent...thats what we always said..one arce and a tent...I miss you boy...you would think after six years it would not do me this way...but it does...here are my memories of you...slide shows of my heart...blackberries...Carrie sat at your grave the other day...you only met her a time or wo...Thomas married her..but she was real troubled the other day and said she had no where to go so she went to your grave and said she felt better...I can't go there...I want to...I make myself...but not often...not cause I don't want to...but because I feel so empty there...no...to me ...your spirit lingers on our hill...thats why I can't move back there...it is so lonesome...I'm over-whelmed there...I love it..I miss my flowers...I have a plan for it...I know you would like it...I'll enjoy it again...only different this time...you walked that part of my path with me...you were a good friend to me..a great comfort to me..a tender lover...a gentle man...I'll never forget you...you glued me back together with the gold of your love...I feel better now...had my little cryin' jag...I'm going to call Larwence here soon and get the day lined out...Jimmy is droppin' the trailer off anywhere from now til noon..will go by Bill's and see what is shakin with him...I have never been able to do anything with your clothes...everyone says get rid of them first...oddly...I hung on to them til last...but I am givin them to Larwence....the only thing I'm keepin' is the deer head and your knives...your coat...few little things..nothin' anybody would trouble with...I wonder if I let you down in this?...the only thing I can say is ...I did the best I could for as long as I could..I think I need to change things in my life..to move on...trim off...I'm still alive and you know how I enjoy livin'...I can't hang on to you and move on into my life...well...have to get up and start ...

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