I know you all have heard it said.."the old grey mare ain't what she used to be"...well, I'm here to tell you, it's true...she sure ain't....guess I been rode hard and put up wet once to often...daumn....well, it was a good ride while it lasted...trouble is...didn't last long enough...I guess if I could do it over ...I would do about the same except a hell of a lot more of it...and I did plenty...trust me...bad as I hate to admit it ...I'm on the down-hill side of life...traded all the fussin' and fightin' for a rockin' chair...close as I get to dance is with my grandkids...and we do plenty of it cause granny still feels the music move her soul...I love all you guys and hope your day is goin swell...I have my hearin' aide turned off in self defense...they are the handiest things in the world...love it...be so surprised what a good mood you can stay in if you don't hear half the shit going on around you...been a blessing...I'm gonna duck outta here..just wanted to run in and see what's up ...be back tonight when the bed-time stories are told...wine and weed...chat at ya later

Cracker

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

.. Lord smiled on me early today kids...so I'm puttin' up some Fat Man and headed outta here for awhile...maybe I'll slide back through later and see what's up...my ass is draggin' and I'm ready for a bath and a toddy for the body....if I make it through all that I'll be back...love ya Cracker

Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Rick because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Rick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. The other two said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Rick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was the second guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. The other two said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Rick shakes the roof I sat up and watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning," he said. The other two couldn't believe it! He looked rested and wide awake. They asked, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Rick into bed, patted his ass and kissed him good night. Rick sat up and watched me all night

got the sawdust down kids,