You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

You failed world geography in school because you thought Cuba, Florida, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri.

The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing.

Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

You think Jesse James is a hero.
You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar.”

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Construction

You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.

You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.

You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.

You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.

You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut.



You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

The local gas station sells live bait.

Your radio buttons are preset buttons are country.

"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.

Down south to you means Arkansas.

You know if another Missourian is from eastern, middle or western Missouri as soon as they open their mouth.

You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.

Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip."

You've never met any celebrities.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.



You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

You measure distance in minutes.

You know several people who have hit a deer.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold or heat in the same month.

You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

You know what and where "Party Cove" is.

You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end.

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

You think that deer season is a national holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 105 degrees F "a little warm".

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri.

my daughter just e-mailed me this...thought it was cute and would pass it on...hope you all are havein a great Saturday night...I'm into a book and the Civil Wa is about to break out...I ' will be in and out all nioght...but mostly out...have a good one

****************************************************************

From CDC

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).


If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.


Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected, and WORK is controlling your life.

The Tractors - Badly Bent Lyrics

I'm goin' back to the country
'Cause I can't pay my rent
I may not be completely broke
But brother I'm badly bent
I don't understand
Where the money went
I'm not broke
But I'm badly bent

They warned me about the city
About the city life
But I thought I knew everything
I took no one's advice
Now I don't know where
All the money went
I might not be broke
But I'm badly bent

I am just a country boy
Tryin' to make some sense
But I'd like to ask the congress
I'd like to ask the president
Can you tell me where
All the money went
We might not be broke
But we're badly bent

Between the telephone, gas and electric bills...
Car payment and the rent
Give it everything I got
Can't seem to make a dent
I don't understand
Where the money went
I'm not broke
But I'm badly bent
Can you tell my where
All the money went
I might not be broke
But I'm badly bent

Gracing the southern Virginian colony and commanding a view of the James River, Shirley Plantation began building in 1723 by Edward Hill III for his daughter, Elizabeth.  Hill’s sister, Martha, had left for England to study, leaving behind an unsigned portrait of herself.  A strong mouth and deep eyes dominated the painting, almost daring one to ignore its presence in the room.  Martha later married an Englishman, Hugh Griffith, and remained in England.  Though the portrait is known by the family as “Aunt Pratt,” no one seems to know the source of the name Pratt.

In 1858, long after Martha’s death, the family noticed the painting rocking violently against the wall above the mantel in a third story bedroom.  Moving the noisy portrait to the attic only intensified its turbulent actions.  Knocking was heard around the house and word got out that the plantation was infected with a rather boisterous picture.  The Civil War soon surrounded the plantation and the residents of Shirley were caught up in the turmoil of having their home turned into a field hospital as General McClellan transported over 8,000 injured and dying men out of Virginia.  With their access to the James River close by, injured men were transferred onto Union ships and the dead were buried in the family cemetery.  There is no mention of Pratt’s activity during this time, they probably had more pressing matters to worry about.

After peace ensued, the portrait was taken out of storage in the attic and placed on the first floor in a place of honor for the old gal.  Though happy for a while, it soon began its rocking and the hunt was on for someplace that the picture would remain quiet.  Finally placing the picture in Martha’s second floor bedroom, it remained relatively quiet for the next few years. 

In 1974, the Virginia Travel Council loaned the portrait with other items associated with psychic phenomena to an exhibit at Rockefeller Plaza in New York.  Once placed in a display window, the picture began to rock so vigorously that the seal of Virginia, which was placed beside it, began to swing from side to side in front of spectators.  Aunt Pratt made her national television debut on NBC-TV as a reporter on his way to lunch stopped by to see what all the ruckus was about and caught the rocking on tape.  It caused such a disturbance that it was removed from the exhibit and crated up.  The night shift reported hearing crying and rocking in the storage room.  One morning it was found on the floor outside the storage locker, some thought she was making a break for the exit…

After being returned to Virginia, the portrait was taken to Linden Galleries in Richmond, Virginia to help repair the damage to the frame.  While there, workers would tell of bells ringing, though there were no bells on the property.  The portrait was finally placed back at Shirley Plantation and is seemingly happy in it’s second floor bedroom.  Tours are available of the mansion though you may have to pay more to see the rocking…  ;)

Finally got to watch the movie from beginnning to end...I cried at the end...