North Florida Cracker is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a "typical" Cracker baby boy weighing 25 pounds!!!
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at

25 pounds, but the cracker just shrugs and replies, "Oh, that's about average back home folks. Like I said, my boy's a "typical" North Florida baby boy. He's gonna grow up to become a football player and an all around badass."
Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!"
One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that "typical" Cracker baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.

So tell us, how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious asked, "What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The Cracker daddy takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."

THIS IS A DROUGHT It's so dry in South Dakota that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, The Methodists are giving out wet wipes. The Presbyterians are giving out rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

Whisper to me softly three words upon my skin.
No ones near and listenin, so please dont say goodbye.
Just hold me close and love me.
Press your lips to mine.
Mm, feels so right, feels so right.

Lying here beside you, I hear the echoes of your sighs.
Promise me youll stay with me and keep warm tonight.
So hold me close and love me.
Give my heart a smile.
Mm, feels so right, feels so right.

Your body feels so gentle and my passion rises high.
Youre lovin me so easy.
Your wish is my command.
Just hold me close and love me.
Tell me it wont end.
Mm, feels so right, feels so right, feels so right.

Aw, you feel so right baby.
Cracker